Stephen Colbert Thinks President Biden Can Win Europe Back


“Come on, Europe, you can’t determine us. You had fascists; there were fascists. You have rulers that will marry their cousins; we now have Rudy, who married their cousin, ” Colbert joked.

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Chief executive Biden embarked on his 1st presidential trip abroad upon Tuesday along with hopes of strengthening provides with European leaders that were damaged, in part, by Jesse Trump.

“Come on, Europe, you can not judge us. You had fascists; we had fascists. You have rulers that marry their cousins; we have Rudy, who wedded his cousin. You had Nosferatu; we have — we have Rudy. Potato, pot-ah-to, ” Stephen Colbert said.

“He’s going to see the sites, trip the rails, come back stating words like ‘lorry’ plus ‘zed, ’ complaining about just how bad our butter has ended here. Of course , switching through double fisting ice cream in order to double fisting gelato. ” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“It’s going to be a small awkward trying to mend fencing. Every speech he provides is going to begin with ‘Uh, hello, look, about the last man — sorry about that. ’” — JAMES CORDEN

“Yep, Biden’s going to Britain, Belgium and Switzerland, and won’t come home until he or she finds a new host with regard to ‘The Bachelor. ’” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s right, Biden is hoping to repair connections with our European allies. I believe he’ll be well obtained. I mean, for starters, there will not be a giant baby go up following him wherever this individual goes. ” — JIMMY FALLON

“The news coverage of Biden’s trip got off to some bumpy start. The White-colored House press plane had been delayed almost seven hrs because a swarm of cicadas flew into the engine from the plane. If this was a film, the government would have to go to a log cabin in the woods to persuade Sully Sullenberger to do a single last job. ” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“United was just like, ‘Ooh, that’s good; may we use that? ’” — JIMMY FALLON

“And they’re so from touch. They haven’t already been aboveground since 2004, and yes it shows. I mean, look at this 1 — Ed Hardy tee shirt, Von Dutch hat, plus he’s using a BlackBerry, putting on one of those Live Strong necklaces. It’s embarrassing. ” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Oh, [expletive] , the cicada got Joe Biden? I’m no scientist yet I’m pretty sure that means May well Biden is now going to become a cicada. ” — TREVOR NOAH, on Biden’s swatting away a cicada upon camera

“Tomorrow, that cicada is going to be on Fox News within a neck brace calling meant for Biden to be impeached: ‘See what he did in my opinion! It’s on tape. ’” — JIMMY FALLON

“The cicada returned in order to his buddies like, ‘Damn, the old man’s quicker compared to I expected. ’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Forget the Secret Service; that guy needs a SWAT team! ” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Meanwhile, Mike Pence was just like, ‘Bugs on your head — you’re supposed to save that will for the big debate. ’” — JIMMY FALLON

Kristen Bell played a game of “You Can Only Keep One” upon Wednesday’s “Tonight Show. ”

Tig Notaro, star of Netflix’s “Army of the Dead, ” will appear on Thursday’s “Conan. ”


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